Breakup Soup

The following guest blog comes from Daniel Johnson over at Wingstroke. Music — he knows. Culture — his finger’s on the pulse. How to talk his child into eating one more bite — he can do. Cook a damn thing — he cannot.

Nonetheless, we here at the I Eat Veg test kitchens have very fluid policies when it comes to guest blogging. You need not “cook” at all to create your dish, nor does it have to constitute an actual meal. So, here’s Dan’s recipe for Breakup Soup. Maybe you can find comfort in a big bowl of it someday too.

I’ve never been much in the kitchen. It’s just not my gift and I’m jealous of the people with the cooking skills. They make it seem so easy, throwing spices, adding dashes and turning oven knobs with a taunting confidence.

But today I’m making my contribution to the culinary arts; a recipe I created last summer called Breakup Soup. It’s cheap, delicious, and single-person friendly. And it takes, like, a minute and a half to make. I literally lived off this for months. Of course I also lost about ten pounds during that time, so maybe it should be more of a treat than the entirety of your diet.


Blue Corn Tortilla Chips

STEP 1 – Have a debilitating breakup

STEP 2 – Pour chips onto a plate or bowl and try not to think about debilitating breakup

STEP 3 – Crush the chips in a million little pieces, just like she did to your heart

STEP 4 – Add salsa, red like the color of valentines, roses and your pain-poisoned blood

STEP 5 – Mix.

STEP 6 – Eat.

STEP 7 – Go where it takes you.

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